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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24840595">lend me a shoulder.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/junfhongs/pseuds/junfhongs'>junfhongs</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Post-Time Skip, felix-centric</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:47:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,549</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24840595</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/junfhongs/pseuds/junfhongs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Byleth can't sleep without Felix by her side.</i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Felix Hugo Fraldarius/My Unit | Byleth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>lend me a shoulder.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"It's not a big deal," she said, just as she pressed herself against the wall beside her twin bed. Felix, sleepy and grumpy, tossed her one of his pillows as he closed the door behind him.</p><p>"It is," Felix replied. He leaned against the door and looked over her carefully, at her red eyes and the dry area around her nostrils from blowing her nose too roughly. It had been a week since the funeral, but there was no timetable for things like these.</p><p>Felix looked around her room. The floor was littered with maps and battle plans, all sorts of tactics for every possible situation. He saw her battle notes for each of her students and how she took account of every possible weakness, every little detail her mind could recall from training and from battle. She had the mind of a strategist, sure, but also the heart of a human being who got hurt and bled just the same.</p><p>Byleth drew her knees to her chest. "You don't have to be here, Felix. I'm sure you need to rest too."</p><p>"I do." He avoided the minefield of her notes and picked up the chair that laid on its side by the foot of her bed. He took a seat and waited for her shoulders to drop as she accepted that Felix wasn't going to budge.</p><p>Byleth grimaced, already anticipating Felix's next words. "Don't even say it—"</p><p>"It wasn't your fault."</p><p>She cursed under her breath. "Why do people keep <em>saying</em> that?" The anger was bubbling up within her, starting with the shaking of her voice. "How could it <em>not</em> be my fault? I didn't even know he was gone until— until Caspar brought his dead body to me." Felix had heard this speech before, but the pain still hadn't subsided.</p><p>Byleth ran her fingers through her already-messy hair, another sign of her deteriorating state. "I made a child carry his dead friend's body to me. I—"</p><p>"We're not children anymore." Felix held back a little bit more than usual. He was used to facing stubbornness with his own stubbornness, fighting fire with fire and letting everything burn down around him. But Byleth… taking care of Byleth was more important than that.</p><p>Felix leaned forward, but Byleth's eyes were trained on the wall in front of her. He sighed. <em>Stubborn as ever.</em> "This is a war. People die. We knew that could happen the moment we took up arms."</p><p>After several moments of silence, she nodded begrudgingly. "I know. But he didn't have to die under my watch, under my command."</p><p>"He didn't—" Felix groaned as he recalled how they already went over this, night after night. If it were anyone else, he'd be exhausted by now. Then again, he wouldn't have done this for anyone else.</p><p>"How many more have to die before people realize that I'm not— I'm not cut out for this, Felix." Byleth released a shaky breath. "How could I be if I keep losing people, again and again?"</p><p>Eyes wide, hands shaking, voice weaker than ever— for once, Byleth looked straight at Felix, at the one person who wasn't afraid of seeing her like this.</p><p>No one would admit it, but they didn't want to see Byleth break. She was their miracle, the shining symbol of hope in the darkness that this war brought. If she could shatter just like that, what was stopping them from doing the same? Were they any better than her, any more special, any stronger?</p><p>Felix wasn't afraid. Who said she had to be an unmoving, unfeeling pillar? He didn't idolize her, didn't put her on a pedestal. He admired her as she was, not as who everyone else thought she should be.</p><p>And perhaps a small part of him, the littlest bit in him, liked knowing that he could be stronger than her sometimes. Maybe this was just another manifestation of his competitiveness, of his need to beat her at something, <em>anything.</em></p><p>Or maybe he liked knowing that she could depend on him at her lowest— and she chose to do so instead of just hiding away. Maybe he liked being the <em>only</em> person she could depend on.</p><p>He stood up and sat beside her on the bed, comforted at the sight of Byleth leaning in instead of inching away. The first time they found themselves here, Felix didn't know what the hell he needed to, but the past few days were getting easier.</p><p>It began with a hand over hers, a rough palm resting over her rough fingers. She didn't have to respond; all she had to do was lean in, just an inch closer, and Felix would grasp her hand fully. He would trace the scars over her fingers. She would look down and trace the wide scar over the back of his hand that came from the mock battle five years ago, the first time she ever felt her heart churn for her students.</p><p>Slowly, he would position his shoulder at the perfect height for her to lean her cheek against his arm. Then he would wait. He would wait and wait and wait— and then she would slide her other arm over his waist and bury her face in his chest, nosing against the skipping beat of his heart. His hand would rest over her hair and smooth it out, at least bringing her back to a semblance of her stronger, more composed self.</p><p>If he heard any sobs or felt any tears against his chest, he chose not to mention it.</p><p>Tonight, she looked up at him with wet eyes and tilted her head in confusion. He didn't know what to do with that look. A part of him was tempted to cradle the back of her head and lean in with his lips—as he had been tempted to do many, many times—but this wasn't the right time.</p><p>"This is the last time," she whispered. The corners of her lips tilted up just slightly, though her eyes still told a different story. "I swear, just for tonight."</p><p>Felix let go of her and settled by the pillows. "You said that last time." He groaned at the apology that he knew was on her lips. "And once again, I <em>don't</em> mind."</p><p>"I do," Byleth mumbled. It made Felix's spine stiffen; was he just like the rest of them— offering comfort and kindness that only served to soothe his ego but not her pain?</p><p><em>No,</em> he tried telling himself. It didn't register in the resigned tone of his voice as he said, "I can leave in the morning. Or now, if you want."</p><p>Byleth clutched the fabric of his shirt and shook her head. "It's fine. I— I woke up when you left this morning and couldn't go back to sleep." There was a sheepish smile on her face, and this time, it felt a little more genuine. "Maybe you are right. But this is the last night, I swear. I'll be fine— tomorrow. <em>Tomorrow.</em> I promise."</p><p>Felix shrugged as she settled down beside him. "You don't have to promise."</p><p>"But I want to." Her tone changed. It sounded a little bit more like the unflappable professor they all knew and loved and little bit more like the untouchable warrior that Felix fell for as a teenager. Years later, he didn't think he'd still be here, still hopelessly infatuated, still waiting on an answer to a question he never even asked.</p><p>Byleth hesitated as she turned to her side facing Felix and slung her arm over his waist. Felix, in response, slid his arm under her head and pulled her close, closer than they had ever been. Each damp breath against his neck made him shiver, but the sensation of her finger tracing circles on his arm hypnotized him enough to keep him lying still.</p><p>After a while, Felix heard Byleth say something under her breath. "What's that?" he said.</p><p><em>"Thank you,"</em> she whispered. "This was the first time I lost someone close to me since... my father. To all of you, it must have been years ago, but to me, only a few months had passed. I guess I'm still not used to losing people." Byleth pressed her cheek harder against Felix's chest. "I <em>never</em> want to get used to it."</p><p>The fiery determination in her voice almost made Felix sigh in relief. <em>She's back.</em></p><p>"When I wake up, I'll be my old self again. But," she sat up and rested her chin on Felix's arm, "I still want you to be here."</p><p>He didn't see it often—at one point, they all thought she was incapable of it—but there was nothing more captivating than Byleth's smile— her <em>true</em> smile. A sliver of genuine, unfiltered emotion; none of the cold detachment they once felt from her or the imitations of expressions that she picked up as she interacted more in society.</p><p>And tonight, it was all for Felix.</p><p>"I'll be here," he said quietly. He didn't say when, he didn't say for how long, but to be honest, he didn't need to. In the way she rested her head against him and slept more deeply and peacefully than she had ever slept before, he was sure that she already knew.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>once again from the otp prompt generator lol i need to get back into writing before tackling anything more than a drabble</p><p>this was inspired by me playing an auxiliary battle on auto battle and not realizing that ferdinand von aegir, my beautiful wyvern lord dodge tank, died while i was skipping everything ,,, i tearfully restarted my last save to make sure i loved and cherished and protected him as best as i could for the rest of my silver snow playthrough</p><p>anyway sorry for the angst i just wanted byleth to Feel Things and be Allowed to Feel Things </p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://twitter.com/amenochieien">twitter (@amenochieien)</a><br/><a href="https://junfhongs.tumblr.com">tumblr (junfhongs)</a><br/><a href="https://curiouscat.me/amenochieien">curiouscat (/amenochieien)</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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